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Wheelchair Chronicles :: First Venture Out Alone

holiday-foot-at-pier

Yes, those are my swollen toes photobombing the sea. This was my first venture out alone in the wheelchair, up and down hills, cracked sidewalk, scary at times but I made it.

Three days ago, I said goodbye to this red fiberglass cast. I was hoping like anything for the plaster walking cast. Instead, I got a boot. A big, heavy, black, protective boot that I take on and off.

I can put up to 20 pounds on that foot, so still using a wheelchair and walker. Still relying upon the kindnesses of others. Even strangers get off their bikes, or out of cabs, and insist on pushing me up intimidating hills.

A friend claims my wheelchair is a “man magnate.” If so, all I had to do was fall, shatter my leg into 30 pieces, have surgery, hospital, rehab, home health. And some people just get a dog.

I was able to attend Thanksgiving dinner at a favorite friend’s. We found a way for me to climb the stairs while staying seated. The world of wheelchairs is one I’ve been learning while I pass through this temporary sojourn.

Earlier in my recovery, I had to pray for the willingness not to resist what is so that I could maintain inner peace, (and with grace) even move forward. Maybe you have something in your life that you resist? The more you resist, the more it persists?

The great John O’Donohue said that when he was ministering to the sick, those who befriended their illness(es) were a marvel in grace. When I was in the hospital, unwashed hair in a pony tail, no makeup, people would remark about the beauty they saw in me.

No fancy dresses, mascara, any of the accouterments I would assume I needed for “pretty” and “beauty” to be in the conversation. I think it’s grace under fire, that thing that comes through us when we’ve done inner work and we’re now living it on a bigger stage…more eyes to see our principles in practice.

I also remind myself that I’m not my business card. I don’t have to be my or anyone else’s image of what a professional or working psychic should be. I’m just another soul on the journey, sharing my gifts as best I can.

One thing that happens to me when I’m under certain kinds of stress, an inner Henny Youngman seems to appear. One liners, jokes, or Oscar Levant witticisms. I keep myself entertained, and hopefully, contribute to others.